i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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