Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There are leaves in my underwear?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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