I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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