I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
