We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
