i need an iv and a liver transplant
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
