If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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