I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
