I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
