Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
