talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
