dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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