yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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