i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
