Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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