Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize