I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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