sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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