Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
