Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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