i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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