people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize