it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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