I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
