Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize