do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
