i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
