I didn't shave. On purpose
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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