only if we run a train.
done.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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