she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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