38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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