Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
