No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize