I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
