i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
