Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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