I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
