So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
