the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Alive.
So much puke
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
