goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
