i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
