mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize