Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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