Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
