He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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