so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize