Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
