to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
