After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
