I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you win again, gameday.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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