why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
