he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
