And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Two words: blizzard sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
