so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
