Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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