Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
