I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
