Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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