he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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