OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
