my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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