This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
