remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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